It was only until I experienced, at least in part, what I now referred to as "Abandoned by the Church" that I began to see the role of community in the lives of the vanishing. When I vanished, I expected a lot of phone calls, visits, encouragement, support, and love. Unfortunately, I was greeted with deafening silence. It seemed to me that the people for whom I cared about deeply had not noticed the fact that I was not longer around. It was as if I have never been a part of their lives.
As I wrestled with this over the following months, another possibility emerged. I began to synthesize my experience with the disappearance of so many other good people from my own life, and I realized that that the problem was not a lack of compassion. There is a greater problem that often creates this chasm of community.
I have seen people leave the church after a divorce, a death, or a dispute. I have cared deeply about those brothers and sisters-in-Christ. Unfortunately, I have been often at a loss for words. Some of the time, I felt that it would be wrong to pry into their life. Other times, I had heard of some error on their behalf, whether it was true or not I do not know, and did not feel that I had any responsibility to call on them. The simple truth remains, I made no effort to regain my wandering friend (James 5:19-20). My pride did not allow me to view their presence in the community of believers as more important that my own (Phil 2:3).
Who do you know that once was active in your church, but today is counted among the missing? Is their sin so great that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not sufficient to cleanse it? I am reminded of the gracious words of Abraham Lincoln to his wife when she was indignant towards Southerners: "Don't criticize them; they are just what we would be under similar circumstances." The care of the body the responsibility of each of us. Let us not abandon another simply because we do not know what to say.
